Beautiful Madness
by The1WhoFights4Happiness
Summary: People think I'm crazy because of the way I see things. I have schizophrenia and I'm buried alive 6 feet under the ground...6 feet closer to Hell. This is where I truly belong. I wanted to kill myself and ended up here...Somebody help! I changed my mind!
1. My Silly Life

**_Yeah..hi everyone...this story is nothing like the ones i wrote before. I'm trying out a different genre. _**

**_This might be a EmilyxAlucard fanfic...but I'm not sure yet...its up to you!_**

**_I'll tell you about my character:_**

**_Name: Emily Proxy_**

**_Age: 15 (12.06.1995)_**

**_...and thats all you need for now :))))_**

**_I will reveal stuff about her later..._**

**_Reviews please, I want to know if this is a good idea :)) xxx_**

**_This Chapter will not involve anyone from Hellsing. They all arrive in the 2nd Chapter...I do not own anyone except for Emily ))  
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I often think that life is pointless. Millions of people go to work, earn money, consume, consume and consume things they don't even need. Do all those useless funky bits of fabric really make them happy? Or those disgusting bright paints that girls use to fix their faces?

Money...are they worth more than your life? Many people were murdered and assassinated because of those bits of cotton and linen.

Love...just pheromones. True love only exists in fairytales. Falling in love with somebody will only cause pain and sufferings...your lover turns you into a heartbroken shell.

Wisdom...I will never be able to know everything about the world because our universe is endless. Theoretically, it's still expanding, but for someone as small as a human the universe is endless. I often asked myself: would I want to live forever like the Elf's or Vampires? And I always came up with the same answer: No. I don't want to spend the eternity living in a world where I don't belong. Communism, capitalism, dictatorship, Christianity...it all tried changing people to suit their purpose. But people will never change. From Ashes we came to Ashes we shall go back.

...And that's how I ended up in Bethlem Royal Hospital in London. My parents were confused and frightened of my view on life. It all began when I was transferred to my new School. My mother brought me my new uniform, red and yellow blazer with a matching gray skirt and a pale white blouse. Uniform was designed to minimize the gap between wealthier and less wealthy pupils. It was necessary to wear it and I understood it perfectly well. But...what was that silky red...belt?

The next day I asked my father and he said it was a tie. A tie.

I completely refused to wear it. My first day at Grammar School turned into a catastrophe for everyone. My new teachers tried to explain how important ties were but their arguments weren't valid. I explained my point of view. Useless bits of fabric that make you feel uncomfortable and limit your movements. In any other circumstances I would be immediately thrown out of the school, but one of the elderly teachers became concerned. That's how I ended up visiting schools psychiatrist. After listening to me she became even more concerned.

**_~Flashback~_**

"This will be my last question for today Emily" she smiled warmly at me, but I could recognize the spark of concern in her deep brown eyes.

"I will give you 5 words. Chose the odd one out." She glanced at the piece of paper in front of her. "Painting, Poem, Flower, Novel and Statue." Her eyes met mine. I took a deep breath.

"Novel." This was the most obvious answer for me.

"Could you please explain why?"

"Paintings, statues, poems and flowers make us feel. When we look at them we see the magic of our world. We see the beauty or hatred of life, while novels simply give us an alternative. Alternative to this world. When we read novels we fool ourselves with the beauty of another reality." She looked confused. Confused and surprised.

"You seemed to like painting. All your masterpieces...contain patterns? Repeated patterns. Why so?"

"I consider them magnificent. Its a hard job to make them identical, but it makes me feel...peaceful."

"I think we will need to make an appointment with a more qualified specialist. How about we visit Dr. Taylor? He's a old friend of my and I'm sure he will be happy to listen to you." Yeah, I bet he will be extremely happy. Sometimes it really got on my nerves when people began treating me like a child.

**_~End of flashback~_**

Dr. Taylor asked similar questions. After about 30 minutes of talking he decided that I 'need help'. As I said before, my parents were happy to send me away into a _madhouse_. Bethlem Hospital was a madhouse.

After the first 3 months of me living in Bethlem the doctors came up with a diagnosis: schizophrenia. I had no idea I had it. Apparently it meant to be inherited.

Basically, if your point of view doesn't match with the 'majorities' point of view you are mental. This reminded me of the story about a wizard who wanted to punish the king and his family. He poisoned the water in the river from which everyone drank. Everyone but the king himself. The water made everyone in the kingdom turn insane. The king tried to bring order, but the majority of insane people couldn't understand him. In fact, they thought of him as a madman and decided to bring him down. The king had nothing else to do but to drink the water from the poisonous river. As soon as he did so he turned insane and returned to the throne because he became the same as everyone. One insane kingdom.

Bethlem will become my new home for the rest of my life. My new home and my beloved crypt.

I often think about taking a razor and fixing myself once and for all. No, not a razor. Pills, sleeping pills are perfect.

I chose the day. The day when Mr. Taylor was away for a conference in Liverpool. I wasn't considered to be one of the crazy psychos and was allowed to walk around and enjoy the view of the giant brick wall which surrounded this 'kingdom'. The same routine every day. Except for one little detail that my lovely nurse missed; I didn't swallow my sleeping pills (they gave me one every night). I collected them. Now I had around 20 tablets of midazolam. The amount might sound pathetic but midazolam is a very strong drug-based sleeping pill. I just need to wait until dusk so I could finally go to sleep and never wake up.

I did everything correctly. No blood, no ropes. Goodbye earth, I'm off to find something more suitable for me.

_How wrong I was._

I fell into a sort of coma when my heart stopped beating for a while. I stopped breathing, and you could easily confuse it with…death. Qualified doctors can recognize the state but… it is rare, very rare. Surprisingly, there was no investigation, not police, no crying friends surrounding my 'dead' body. They simply said that I died from a heart attack. 5 days passed, and I was in a coffin surrounded by my family. On the 6th day I was buried. And on the 7th day I finally opened my eyes expecting to see something similar to heaven or hell but instead all I saw was nothing. It toke me a while to come up with a hypothesis of what might have happened.

It toke me about 3 minutes to realize that there was not enough oxygen.

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**_What's gonna happen next? Will one strong almighty vampire dig her out? _**

**_Yeah..he probably will..._**

**_Reviews please :) _**


	2. It All Went Wrong

_**Alucard's POV**_

There are many ways in which humans could describe my actions. The ones who are romantic and adventurous call the mysterious. The ones who cant think outside the box call me crazy. However, if you would ask an average person, he would most likely call me weird. A grown up man creeping around graveyards is just not normal.

Graveyard. I consider it being the only place in the whole world where humans are honest. Its fun to observe completely opposite reactions from completely opposite humans while they say goodbye to the same person. Some of them cry their eyes out, I can nearly feel their poor little hearts jumping out of their chests, some of them, however, silently celebrate their victories. On the outside, they look like ordinary members of the family who tragically lost their sibling.

Humans are unpredictable creatures. But as days go by, I learn more and more about their psychology.

Graveyards are also the quietest places on earth. No living creature dares to enter the land of sleeping dead. They will all end up here, willingly or not. Nobody lives forever. Not one sound disturbs this eternal sleepover. Not a single heartbeat…

Emily's POV

Aw God, I'm claustrophobic…somehow, when I swallowed those pills I imagined waking up either hell or heaven. Not in a dusty coffin. No, no, no, no…what should I do? What should I….

_Isn't that what you wanted Emz? You wanted to die and now you surely will! Congratulations girl! You have successfully killed yourself and now you get the chance to check how long it takes for a stupid ignorant girl like you to die from the lack of oxygen!_

Hold on, didn't they have those little bells in Medieval times which you could ring and they would know you're alive…

_Medieval times, duh, right now they will rather put phones with you…Imagine calling your mum: "Hey mum, could you come and pick me up please cos its quite chilly down here… _

Can't you ever be serious…

I tried banging my fists on the lid. As I expected, no reaction. Those worms are probably waiting for me to decay so they could have a little party…hope those pills made my blood poisonous. There is literally no way out.

**_Alucard's POV_**

Have I gone insane or is there someone buried alive? I can clearly hear a heartbeat right under that newly buried grave. I remember in the old times being buried alive was considered one of the worst ways to die…but how could that human survive there for so long? Hmm…Master wouldn't like me doing this…

Using my shadow helpers I easily got the coffin out of the ground. Such a cheap coffin, why can't people spend some money on their dead siblings? Under my command the coffin opened…

**_Emily's POV_**

I don't understand anything. It feels like the coffin is being ripped out of the earth…now it's shaking…the lid slowly opens…

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**_A nice little cliffhanger :) I'm guessing you will just have to wait till the next chapter is done :) _**

**_Remember, you are free to comment anytime xx _**


	3. A New Beginning

_**I'm so sorry, I couldn't upload anything...well, to be honest, I didn't have anything to upload :') forgive me my darlings...soo, the story goes on :) I promise to speed up the writing, but i need some ideas and suggestions. **_

_**You are free to provide me with them! Plus, if you dont understand something, comment and i will do my best to explain**_

**_It might be a bit confusing for now but hopefully everything will become clear after a while :D xxx_**

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_**Emily's POV**_

Perfection and surrealism. Complete and utter beauty was all I could see. At that time I was totally oblivious to the man in red who silently observed me, amused by my reaction. It was a long time since I saw anything other than the boring madhouse I lived in. Surprisingly, I missed reality. Walking on the edge of the blade made me realize that even though there were things in life which I couldn't bare there were more things which I adored and required. My instincts had taken over my desires and fantasies about a perfect world.

_And just like that you suddenly changed your attitude towards death? Man, you are pathetic. What was the bloody point of going through all of this just to "realize" that there are good things in life? You have been defeated._

Yes, just like that I decided to live on and try and make my life worth it. As soon as the lid opened and I saw the sky I was mesmerized by its beauty. My free spirit didn't need to fly towards the distant galaxies, the water in the sea could calm and embrace it, my light in the dark tunnel wasn't coming from the eye of a higher being, it came from the star above me. My soul didn't need love, it had…

'If you continue to stare at the sky instead of getting out I will have no choice but to shut the lid and bury the coffin with you.' A tall man had blocked my view of the moon. The lack of light restrained me from seeing his face; however, by the sound of his voice I guessed that he was old. Or simply wise.

_Get out of the coffin! You don't want us to be buried AGAIN! _

Slowly, I tried to lift myself off the ground (more specifically, the coffin) but my legs were weak from the lack of movement in previous days. I collapsed right next to the man. When I looked around the graveyard I noticed that there were no tractors or people with shovels. How did the man dig my coffin out? It required a lot of strength for me to start creeping away from my fresh grave towards a beautiful concrete angel which seemed to observe me with it's monumental eyes, beckoning me. Strange noises were coming from behind but I refused to look. The man said he was going to bury the coffin? It would most likely take him a while and when he'll be done, I'd be gone. Gone somewhere no one could ever find me.

'Stay where you are, girl.'

And that's when I heard the shots.

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**_Just a little note: When the POV changes, the story goes back to the place where it started but from a different POV :) xxx_**

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_**Alucard's POV**_

Ungrateful dog.

During the last 300 years I learned not to expect much from humans, especially females. Of course, there were exceptions. Integra Hellsing, my dearest master whom I shall serve until the death of hers is a fine example of a moralistic leader who sacrificed her youth and her life to serve England, the Queen and God. My curiosity made me save this girl's life even though I knew that by the end of the day I will regret it. As soon as the lid opened she glanced up the sky and froze. Not a single word escaped her lips, not even a simple greeting or a thank you. She seemed to be a teenager, a strange and complex child who wasn't shocked or scared.

A teenager who accepted death. Nothing unique, when humans are young they tend to believe that they are invincible. Their brain simply cannot cope with the thought of dying young, which is why their fear of death is less strong compared to the older generation. My, what pleasure it would have brought me to show them how wrong they were.

Her bewildered expression wasn't amusing anymore. I had to return back to my duties for the night and this human child had to be dealt with.

'If you continue to stare at the sky instead of getting out I will have no choice but to shut the lid and bury the coffin with you.' I wanted to have the tiny bit of fun I could allow myself with the human. I wanted to feel the fear running through her tiny vessels mixed with the crimson liquid I strongly desired. Watching her getting out of that uncomfortable wooden bed was quite intriguing. Humans are so weak. And yet they dominate over vampires. They are truly wonderful creatures.

When she finally got out she began to crawl away. At that time I realized that I would most likely have a lot of trouble with that creature. Slowly but steadily she moved her slim body toward an ugly statue covered in dust with a smashed wing. If this monster was suppose to represent an angel who brings peace then no wonder this village has a high death rate.

I could feel those FREAKS running towards me, two from the right and one from the left.

They never learn.

The moon was especially bright today. _Today_ was special itself. I casually got my Casull out. My duty was to exterminate things which didn't deserve to exist.

Come a little bit closer, I want to get a closer look at you before you die.

Oh, of course, one more thing. The human.

'Stay where you are, girl.'

_Let the game begin._

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**_Oh noo, I hope I didin't make Alucard too OOC...sorry if I did. The deal is, I'm trying to make his seem like a monster and a normal person at the same time :D_**

**_Tell me what you thought about this chapter :) xxx_**


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